Happy New…What?! Is It Already July?

Today is July 14. Surely it’s not been 7 months since I posted here? I kind of feel like I went to sleep and woke up with the year more than half over. I had big ideas for 2019 and…where has this year gone so far? Maybe you can relate. Did you choose a theme or a word or set one or two or twenty goals in January?

Reading through what I wrote back in January gives me hope. I’ve not completed much of what I wrote back then, but the year isn’t over and as long as I have breath there is hope. I haven’t “built” some of what I was hoping so far, but I have made unexpected progress that makes me happy.

I’ve mastered new skills at my job.

I’m building new and really fun relationships.

A deeper faith is budding after a season of digging deeper emotionally and allowing myself time to lament. I see God differently today.

Here’s what I wrote in January…

Over the past few years, instead of writing down resolutions and goals for the new year, I’ve chosen to focus on a word. Sometimes my focus has been strong enough to keep the word imbedded in my heart and mind for longer than 6 weeks and other years not so much.

In 2019 my word is BUILD.

After living through several years of transition I long to let go of the past, move forward, and make some significant progress. Hence, build.

I have some ideas of what that means. For example, I’d like to get stronger physically and build some muscle mass that I’ve lost (isn’t that a nice way of saying I’ve put on extra weight? lol). Tom and I have also started a couple of businesses that need to be built.

On a spiritual level I want to focus on building a deeper connection with God and a stronger understanding of scripture. I also want to build my memory muscles and, oh dear, here I go again with a list of goals and resolutions.

I’m already learning in these few short days of 2019 that building will look different than I first imagined. Yesterday I accepted a full-time position at a company here in San Antonio. It may seem counter-intuitive to reaching some of our business goals, but I think it will take away some financial pressure, so that we can walk the path clearly and build solidly instead of clawing through a fog of financial stress and uncertainty.

Taking on this job is going to force me to build a new and different schedule, to build some new cleaning habits and to build new relationships at work. I’m also still determined to build a solid writing schedule.

How in the world?

I don’t know.

Maybe I don’t have to know.

Maybe that’s what the transitions have been trying to teach me. Maybe God has been holding me tight and leading me to a place where I could simply be still and know that He is God. That we make our plans, but he determines the steps. So as I mull over this word that just won’t leave me alone, maybe I’ll dream of a hundred different ideas that I could build. I’ve already come up with a series of posts to write about building strong relationships with our adult kids and what that might look like in various circumstances.

What ideas have been planted in your spirit lately? What theme or goal or idea won’t leave you alone? What small spark won’t be extinguished - you know the one. The nagging thought that wakes you up in the middle of the night. The words you just can’t make yourself say in the middle of a prayer.

So, again, here it is seven months later. I have written little for my book on paper, but God continues to guide me and the idea won’t leave my heart. I have a friend who asks me every week if I am writing. Another friend saw me at a conference last weekend and asked how my book is coming.

It is coming.

I’m not sure exactly what I will end up building in 2019. It will be interesting to look back in December to take stock.

Today, no matter what has happened so far this year in your life, I hope that you will find hope and strength to keep moving forward. I hope you will take a deep breath and simply enjoy the moment you have. I hope that you will find peace and I hope that you find joy.

Happy July.